It was important in my family to be quick and to be right. My father would put a nickel on the table saying it belonged to the first person to say the capitol of Idaho (Boise). I have friends who are waiting like leopards to pounce on anything you say that could be corrected or different. Sometimes my point gets lost because of the interruption. It isn’t kind to always be right—as someone is therefore, wrong.
If someone says something I don’t agree with I say, “I accept those thoughts as yours.” Or, if I want to engage, I say, “Another way to look at that idea might be to….”
Even when I was an elementary school teacher, I found that being right all the time didn’t create attentive students. I might say, “Just as 4 times 5 is 30…..” then turn around to see if anyone was listening. My class learned to listen and that it was ok to appropriately challenge me.
Nagging is a form of demonstrating a need to be right. No one responds favorably to nagging! If an older family member is nagging you say, “I’ve heard your thoughts on this and I think we need to move to a different topic or hang up the phone.” It might “make” that person angry, and you will like yourself better if you create boundaries. Firm and kind go together nicely, and no one makes anyone angry because getting angry is an individual choice. (SW #10)
Be kind or be quiet. Be kind or be quiet. Be kind or be quiet. Choose to be kind.PLEASE COPY AND PASTE OR SHARE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THIS WAS POST #11: ALL POSTS ARE ON parentingsos.com/blog
Scott A. McDaniel photo
