If you haven’t watched Ted Lasso on Apple TV, you haven’t seen his demonstration of always finding the positive side of literally everything. Everyone loves that show because it is funny and because Ted is modeling how to find a positive in every negative.

Do you know what the happiest animal on earth is? A goldfish because it has a ten second memory. Something happens, ten seconds later that memory is detached from the goldfish.

A parent yells something negative and 30 years later, that child is still sensitive about whatever the issue might have been—or–the child forever freezes up in response to someone’s anger. Someone you love and trust is silent instead of talking about feelings, so you go into spin cycle, replaying what was said-or-having imaginary fictitious conversations in your mind of what you might have said.

Failure to communicate is the number one cause for harm, hurt, distance, and game playing in relationships. So what if the other person gets angry! Speak your mind, share your feelings. Keep all the cards on the table EVEN IF THE OTHER PERSON HIDES A CARD.

I’ve gotten myself in trouble more than once because I put my cards on the table, spoke about my feelings. As I got older (now 81) I learned that I am not in charge of what other people do. If I keep the lines of communication open at my end I may not get a returned effort, and I like myself better.

It’s easy to judge! It’s normal to complain endlessly! It’s not unusual for people to focus on what is negative, it is not as common to meet Ted Lasso people who CHOOSE to look for the silver lining.

If, indeed, our thoughts and actions are magnets, I choose to be positive so I live with more positive than negative energy inside of me. I notice, when I practice this, more positive thinking people are drawn to me.

Please share with friends and family.

Scott A McDaniel photo