Every choice you make is dependent upon your self-esteem. Think of self-esteem as needing two legs to stand on: One is LOVABLE and one is CAPABLE. Lovable embraces the feeling that I am loved no matter what I do. Feeling capable is to embrace that I am able to do something well.
That seems like a low bar under which to slide, and I would estimate that at least 82% of the population have low self-esteem. Everything we have been taught: to judge others, to compare ourselves with others, to always be asked to do better, the focus on winning, to take on our parents expectations for ourselves, and to not feel connected to others, enhance our disconnection from ourselves and from others.
Some people can see you, some cannot. Count the votes of the first group and emotionally walk around the second group, even if they are family. Be with children who love you unconditionally. Talk to your elders who have time to cherish you. Know that your daily job is to shine the light of your ORIGINAL self and touch the world with your goodness.
I’m not capable of many of the things that make a good housekeeper, so my home is clean but very cluttered. If someone is bothered by that, it’s a good idea they meet me in a coffee shop. I am good with people, a decent teacher and writer, and I love everyone. I focus on those things for my capable leg. The other things don’t matter…..at least to me…(as long as I don’t compare myself with other people.)
Many people, including myself, have difficulty letting love in and trusting it. So many misperceptions and assumptions later, we have built a shield around our hearts. To the extent that you love yourself are you able to love others. Give yourself a break; you got to this point alive, and there’s the promise of more time in which to learn how to be yourself. Bon voyage!
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Scott A McDaniel photo
