After a lot of planning, I sent a gift to a friend. No comment. I asked it she had received my gift and she said, “Yes, I did.” Like pricking a pin with a balloon I felt totally deflated. “That was fun!” I thought. Later, she mention she had received my surprise gift and that I was sweet.
Because I’ve taught life skills and have had a lot of training in how to head off hurt, I was able to ask myself what my expectation was—was that truly a gift or me trying to please, again? Expectations are booby traps because there is always emotion and your ego around them. Often that emotion is distorted by a myriad of past memories.
The Aborigines believe that if you care about how someone reacts or what someone does with a gift, or what they do with that gift, it isn’t really a gift at all.
So I took a breath, said, “That was different!” (SW #1) and went on with my life. And I felt happy that I had expressed my love to my friend.
Please share with family and friends.
Scott A. McDaniel photo
