A perfectionist is constantly caught up in a “not good enough” cycle, so nothing they do is regarded by them as a personal achievement. So many times, over my 81+ years of life, I’ve thrown sincere compliments off walls of personal judgment.
Another type of person who fits the “not good enough” cycle is someone who was criticized and/or compared with others as a child. Given the never good enough message, the child takes on that critique for themselves. It is impossible to feel lovable and capable (the two legs everyone needs to stand on for good self-esteem,) under the umbrella of criticism.
If a problem comes up, look at it as, “Wonder what I can learn from this experience?”instead of another opportunity for failure—or another notch in your victim belt. After a problem has passed, ask yourself what it taught you. Problems are guidelines, not stop signs.
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Scott A. McDaniel photo
