My friend, Sohayl, is the father of three boys. He, his wife and three boys had been at the same gym for several hours; after two boys played, the family ate dinner in their car and were waiting for a late night game. “I suppose you have to come back here tomorrow for more play […]

**Starting Thanksgiving week, I will add one Sandy’s Wisdom piece a week, usually on Wednesdays. Think of your life as a play. There are other characters in your play who come and go, and interact with you. You are only responsible for YOUR part in the play. However, others will attempt to vacuum you in […]

Peggy Bielen my dear friend and co-creator of a self-esteem program for the elementary schools, and I worked together in the 80’s. She said that she had never heard anyone say, “I’m sorry as often as I did!” Unaware of my habit, I decided to put a nickle in a jar every time she caught […]

There is nothing more satisfying for some people than to play the poor me (victim) role in their own play. Friends agree and commiserate with the victim, about how awful it was. They will tell “V” they love and they will always be there for them. Like the impossibility of eating only one potato chip, […]

My father and I were driving on the Irvine Ranch in California when he stopped the truck, “Stay here, I’m going to teach you an important lesson.” For the next half hour he drove the bulldozer that he talked the worker into relinquishing to him. Back and forth, back and forth he drove; he was […]

Attitude is a feeling or emotion towards a fact or state. Your attitude is what causes the drama in your life, so in essence it is the architect of the quality of your life. If you want to change your life, try changing your attitude. Perspective is how you view life, attitude is about how […]

When someone else tells you that “you should” do something, have you noticed that part of you closes down? Usually this happens because adults in your past used the word should as a reprimand: “You SHOULD do better in school, You SHOULD be more like your brother/sister. You SHOULD know better!” A trigger is something […]

An expectation is like a cookie cutter—someone has a specific idea of what the cookie must look like. Expectations are boxes that people try to put other people into, and will shame, blame,, and threaten one who refuses to do so. Can you want someone to change? Sure. What you can’t do is make the […]

Many years ago, when I was involved in a law suit, my daughter, Kathleen, sent me a bumper sticker. Although I have lost the sticker, the sentence on it has stuck with me and is something I have used innumerable times. Someone you have known for a long time, starts making religious comments. Even though […]

My last Sandy’s Wisdom talked about the ocean/fresh water idea in a relationship. As I was typing, it occurred to me there are other instances in which the title sentence can be applied. Anything as well as anyone who presents a moment which you get upset because you would like it to be different, is […]