At almost 82 years old (can you believe it?) I will tell you a very simple yet insanely difficult concept to remember: SOME PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU, SOME CANNOT! I’m not talking about aliens here, I’m talking about, due to a person’s past experience, they are able or not able to view you as you […]

When I’ve taught life skills classes, one of the most difficult concepts for people to accept is that no one makes you angry or hurts your feelings. You are always at choice with what how you respond to another person. “You make me so angry!” a parent tells a child. Think about how much power […]

A perfectionist is constantly caught up in a “not good enough” cycle, so nothing they do is regarded by them as a personal achievement. So many times, over my 81+ years of life, I’ve thrown sincere compliments off walls of personal judgment. Another type of person who fits the “not good enough” cycle is someone […]

We are so attached to what the other person think that it is easy to agree to do something you do not want to do. Another reason to ignore our own feelings is a fear of someone’s anger. We all have triggers from the past; too many people avoid anger because it brings back a […]

Have you ever looked back on something (or a bunch of somethings) you did when you were younger, wondering how you could’ve been so stupid? Old friends sometimes get together, laughing about the times when we…….Of course, there are things we did that we try not to remember. I worked with at-risk teens who were […]

In Sandy’s Wisdom #1, I talked about how changing my perspective on a deep resentment I had carried for years, allowed me to exchange judgment for total acceptance. Instead of letting my mind be an angry attack dog arranging thoughts into an endless victim pattern, I repeated “That’s different” until my mind accepted it. I […]

I once heard a therapist say, “Sandy, you would forgive a total stranger before you’d forgive yourself. “ Where did we learn to be so hard on ourselves? I think our world is designed to measure everything by good or bad—win or lose—good or not good enough. So we keep raising the bar on our […]

I am increasingly concerned that we, as adults, are not choosing manners, morals and integrity as the foundation of our lives. Since you teach most by what you model, it is fair to say we are not teaching children those essential skills as well. You can count on my word because I keep my word. […]

After a lot of planning, I sent a gift to a friend. No comment. I asked it she had received my gift and she said, “Yes, I did.” Like pricking a pin with a balloon I felt totally deflated. “That was fun!” I thought. Later, she mention she had received my surprise gift and that […]

A lady came up to me, telling me that, if I used this cream, it would take all the wrinkles out of my face. I turned to see my reflection in the window, pulled my face so all the lines disappeared. I smiled at her saying, “I’d look like I had no life! I’ve earned […]