We are taught by our parents and society to “look good at all costs.” Keep your feelings to yourself. Your feelings are not valid. Comments like, “You shouldn’t feel that way!” made our feelings seem wrong.
A feeling isn’t right or wrong, it just is! You can’t stop feelings from happening, what do with those feelings is what counts. To make a feeling wrong gives it power and piles another layer of guilt on the already huge pile you’ve accumulated.
I gave a speech once to 500 people, and I talked truthfully about a problem I was having being fair parent. Trapped in influences from my past, I had made some choices because of which I felt like a failure. Stopping to get my composure, I heard one clap, then another, then a lot of clapping. My mind went nuts! “I just called myself a failure, why were they clapping?” Because I was real, because I chose to share my pain instead of being a disconnected parenting expert. I was one of them!
Choose who you share your weakness with, carefully. Try not to get snagged by the drama tendencies in you that will jump into victim. Be real with someone, tell your truth. That choice will come from strength, not weakness.
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