We are so attached to what the other person think that it is easy to agree to do something you do not want to do. Another reason to ignore our own feelings is a fear of someone’s anger. We all have triggers from the past; too many people avoid anger because it brings back a […]

Have you ever looked back on something (or a bunch of somethings) you did when you were younger, wondering how you could’ve been so stupid? Old friends sometimes get together, laughing about the times when we…….Of course, there are things we did that we try not to remember. I worked with at-risk teens who were […]

In Sandy’s Wisdom #1, I talked about how changing my perspective on a deep resentment I had carried for years, allowed me to exchange judgment for total acceptance. Instead of letting my mind be an angry attack dog arranging thoughts into an endless victim pattern, I repeated “That’s different” until my mind accepted it. I […]

I once heard a therapist say, “Sandy, you would forgive a total stranger before you’d forgive yourself. “ Where did we learn to be so hard on ourselves? I think our world is designed to measure everything by good or bad—win or lose—good or not good enough. So we keep raising the bar on our […]

I am increasingly concerned that we, as adults, are not choosing manners, morals and integrity as the foundation of our lives. Since you teach most by what you model, it is fair to say we are not teaching children those essential skills as well. You can count on my word because I keep my word. […]

After a lot of planning, I sent a gift to a friend. No comment. I asked it she had received my gift and she said, “Yes, I did.” Like pricking a pin with a balloon I felt totally deflated. “That was fun!” I thought. Later, she mention she had received my surprise gift and that […]

A lady came up to me, telling me that, if I used this cream, it would take all the wrinkles out of my face. I turned to see my reflection in the window, pulled my face so all the lines disappeared. I smiled at her saying, “I’d look like I had no life! I’ve earned […]

School is about to begin again in many states. Almost every kid is nervous or afraid of going back to school. For children who learn in a different way than school teaches—or have had negative experiences in school—their fear is intense. Parents often fail to listen to their children’s feelings and may even make them […]

Life sends you signals. The trick is to pay attention! I was scheduled to go to a baseball game as my grandson was pitching. I put the game on the wrong date. Fortunately, a family email enlightened me. Dressed in shorts, T-shirt and a baseball cap, I stared driving. It was cloudy and there was […]

Yesterday, I had coffee with my 18 year old female friend, Alyssa. It was our last time together before she goes to college. We talked amiably for about an hour; she mostly listened as she is adept in asking questions about my life that are deeper than, “How are you doing?” I’m almost 82, with […]