I co-authored a self-esteem program called Project Self-Esteem, and one of the lessons was about the importance of focusing on a person’s behavior rather than their being. We had a brown bear puppet, Harmony, who showed up in the lesson saying he hated Yogi. When asked why, he said that Yogi stepped on his new […]

I wish I had told my father what he meant to me before he died. I wish I had thanked my wife for all she did to make our trip work. I wish I had told my kids how many things they did that were right…I wish I had listened to my friend when she […]

As children we heard, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt you.” What each of us know is that judgmental words chosen by someone you love or respect become tattoo’s on your heart, causing you to withdraw from your own potential. It took me too many years to live the […]

My mother was an Olympic criticizer, so I learned to be a people pleaser, trying to keep anyone and everyone off my back. Although I have long-ago given up trying to please others, I can still hit a “button” from the past now and then. Everyone, including my dear mother, is looking at you through […]

As I look back on my 8 decades of life, I remember dearly so many people who loved me and taught me to be a better person. At one time, I also thought of the challenging people who were in my life and kinda shuddered, inviting that memory to pass quickly through. Now, I realize […]

Let’s say that all of life is an energy field, some things attract and some things repel. Prayers attract love to a situation. Fear attracts negative energy. Anger attracts negative energy. Holding a grudge, making a judgment, hating someone attracts negative energy. Maybe the miracle in a healing is that prayers surround the “wound,” allowing […]

In In all my years as a professional lecturer/teacher, one of the topics that mystifies both adults and children is anger. From generation to generation, we have passed down the idea that feeling anger is wrong. A feeling isn’t right or wrong, it just is; what a person does with that feeling is what counts. […]

My bother and I had a conversation about our childhood; it was two different versions of the same period of time! Our ego constructs hurts and resentments into memories that are distorted from the past. I held a lot of resentment towards my mother for always criticizing me. In order to drop MY burden of […]

Watching your thoughts might be the leading way to heal past hurts and create a positive attitude towards whatever you do. Pick one thing to watch for today: How many negative words do I direct towards myself; “Dummie, Idiot, Stupid Idiot, Moron, Loser, etc.” When you hear yourself delivering negative self-talk, STOP! Replace that thought […]

Due to the increased use of cell phones and other media contraptions, we are living on an over-crowded planet that is totally disconnected. A friend texted me when I was home with a cold. I told her how I felt which was crummy—and she had no idea how crummy because she didn’t hear my froggy […]

#17: BE YOU! THE WORLD WILL ADJUST! There is nothing in our society or probably our upbringing that invited us to honor and be our true selves. “Be more like your sister,” or “A (family name) never …….” or “That’s silly, you don’t need to be afraid,” or “Boys don’t cry, man-up!” The unimaginable gift […]

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I remember going to a self-help workshop, thinking for a long time about the idea that, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung “What you dislike in someone else is often what you dislike in yourself.” Although I challenged that idea with certain people, I saw […]

I moved to Idaho, had open heart surgery and down the road, turned 81. In the middle, I suffered some depression, feeling I had lost my purpose and was invisible. Prior to this, I had a “spotlight” life as a professional speaker, author and columnist. I decided that my new mission was to touch as […]

I once asked my father, “If you had one wish and you could wish for anything, what would you wish for?” His answer was, “Peace of mind.” Because I was young, I thought it was a silly response. Now that I’ve lived eight decades of life, I understand his wisdom. To live in the moment, […]

If you are a sponge, taking in every criticism, piece of negativity around you, you will surely drown. Who you really are gets lost in the fear of not being accepted, not fitting in to the norm. So we whittle away at our sense of self esteem until we live in a world of doubt, […]

Have you ever had a relative or friend who spends endless words talking about how irritating it is that someone is always the same way about something: (Is always late, promises to do something then doesn’t, always phones too late at night, drives me crazy with her laugh, doesn’t talk to you at a family […]

It was important in my family to be quick and to be right. My father would put a nickel on the table saying it belonged to the first person to say the capitol of Idaho (Boise). I have friends who are waiting like leopards to pounce on anything you say that could be corrected or […]

Since childhood, we have been taught to believe we are responsible for the happiness of other people. “You make me so angry!” or “You hurt my feelings!” No one makes you angry, it is a choice! You’re driving down the road and someone cuts you off—you choose to wave and say, “Careful there!” or you […]

IF YOU PROPOSE TO SPEAK ALWAYS ASK YOURSELF IS IT TRUE, IS IT NECESSARY, IS IT KIND. Have you ever regretted speaking before you thought about something? Words are like razor blades; they look small and harmless, and can cut to the core of one’s sense of self-esteem. Often what parents regard as coaching is […]

#SandysWisdom (8) YOU ARE ENOUGH JUST THE WAY YOU ARE NOW. I suffered from feeling that I was never enough. Endless criticism from my mother helped to chisel that feeling into my thinking and heart. Never being able to please is disheartening to a child, and can ignite stuffed feelings of anger—never mind destroying one’s […]